TAKE A RIDE ON THE WILD SIDE

If you have not really noticed and I don’t write too much about it, My life has pretty much been a roller coaster ride for me that is….just when the ride is about to slow down and allows me to have a lil breather, it picks up speed and I’m back on a sick thrill ride that not too many would enjoy. I was taken ill on Tuesday…got back home from my treatment and went to bed because I was feeling really so weak and tired out. Started a feverish shiver that would bring my temp up to nearly 40degrees!!! My folks had no choice but to bring me to the A&E of NUH. Once I got there that would prob be the last time I would get to see any family member for the next four days. The experience did not start out well…I mean I was not looking for a freakin walk in the park but the people there at the emergency ward did not nothing to sooth my pain. One of the young doctors did a lousy job inserting the needle into my vein…but I needed the fluids badly. Since I was having a fever I was to be put into an isolation ward. I had to sit for like 6 hrs before they finally admitted me into a ward at 1am in the morning!!…I started shivering badly again. Doctors visit at night did nothing for me…I was shaking so badly that I finally slept because I was totally exhausted. As long as I was sleeping I was alright…but the flux in my fever temp only brought on more discomfort and pain. I was not hooked on to many things all at the same time. Fluids and antibiotics to fight the virus off. Apart from being real lonely and craving for a can of coke. I truly felt lonely inside like this was finally it….but if everything else had let me down I knew in my heart that God would always be there for me. I prayed vigilantly and the prayers kept my mind and body at ease. The virus would attack me without warning sometimes, I was truly comforted to see a friendly face in Catherine. She has always been a source of comfort in my time of need….I did not really know whether the isolation ward was busy but I had to sometimes wait a whole hour for medical attention which I think is ridiculous. Catherine is extremely proactive in this area which was really cool cause I needed some attention. On the third day of my stay in the hospital I was told that I had to go for a little procedure to take my porto cath out of my chest as they suspected it might be the problem behind my infection. The only thought that was running through my head was “MORE PAIN!!!!!!”. Well after the news I had to starve for a whole day because of the surgery. It was in the late evening when I was transferred to another ward. A more familiar ward…I was actually there when I had the porto cath put into me. but It was nice being around people again. I was pretty tired out and was soon asleep thinking they would only operate in the morning which they did at 4AM!!!
Bring on the pain suckers….it was always feels like you’re in the Antarctica
When you go for any kind of op. The place is freezing cold but they people there always seem to be in a very warm mood!!!…I’m serious. They’re always joking and in a real good mood and there you are lying practically naked on a cold steel table and they’re about to cut you up. It felt lousy being awake through the whole thing but I did not complain that much. I was back in bed sooner then I thought I would be. The next few days in hospital would be good cause even though I had three needles in me and crap load of medicine being pumped into me and the company around me was not the greatest I was feeling a whole lot better then when I had first been in the hospital. The ward I was in was just mainly made up of cancer patients. All the guys who were sleeping around me were like old guys in they’re 60’s. there were 6 of us including myself. There was Uncle ‘freaky eyes’ lim, “air bag’ ali who was sleeping directly opposite me and died….seriously the guy died on my second day there…he was breathing through a bag thus his nickname and the bag just stopped moving one day and he died, pretty freaky huh!! That’s the second time someone had died while I was there in the ward. Then there was there eccentric old Indian man who would not stop babbling. There was uncle ‘deaf ‘ who slept all day and ate through a tube in his tummy and there was uncle “ bones “ who just got skinner everyday. Six players, one down…and five more to go!…I’m glad my folks brought me some stuff to keep me occupied. The nurses there are nice to me cause I don’t give them much trouble. And they remember you better when you come back again. I did not sorely miss saying good bye to the Uncles but I’m glad I made some kind of connection with them. The ward can be a very sad place if your heart is in the wrong place. Families going in and out with tears in their eyes. Children crying or looking really sad cause their parents are in a lot of pain. As I sat in the bed sometimes I could not help but thinking about what goes through the minds of the loved ones or the caregivers.
At the end of the day I’m very glad to know that sometimes even in the FACE of death I’m still smiling cause I’m so assured about where I going after my death and what death means to Christians. Well…that was my adventure for the week. I’m at home now resting and still on medication.
Trying to get my strength so I can push on to lead the life I want to live.
Thank you for reading. Hope you never have to go through what I did…but there always lessons to be learnt from others experiences and I hope you have picked a few from mine. Take care….ride safe.

Well ,well, well…here I am sitting in front of the computer finally updating my blog. I have been a total bum about it, I have actually been wanting to write stuff down but just did not have the time or the patience basically not wanting to give a shit about anything. Life has been a lil bit better for me ever since they took the chemo pack off me…it was like a total pain man…I mean really!!…walking around with a needle stuck in your chest and the tubing running real close to your groin area…was looking like I had something stuck up my urinary duck. But I’m really proud of myself for sticking to it for this long. My oncologist rocks man!!…always trying to make life easier for me. Comes at a cost though….still got to go to the hospital once a week but now I get my chemo through a needle…was telling char how glad I was not being scared of needles. We are talking about sticking a long freaking needle down a vein in my hand. We not talking gore and shit loads of blood all over the place but hell I’ve seen ppl freak out on seeing a needle alone!. Since my op in January up till now I have had so many needles stuck into me that if they kept the needles hangin from my body I would look like that guy from the movie hell raiser. My body is still getting to used to the chemo treatment cause I’m being injected with a full one week dose of the medicine. You know those big syringes they use in comedy’s…they’re not very funny when you’re actually facin one. Its been a really tiring week but I’ve been sleeping well and just been sleeping in general…what a bummer huh. I did manage to read plenty of books though…I told myself I would. I think there’s a emf bookstore at jurong point, I’ll go there this week to see if I can rent any good books. Reading is good cause I get to lie in bed while doing it and it helps me to focus on one thing. Been thinking about catching some movies too…really thinking long and hard about them. Don’t want to screw up my choices of movie anymore. I think I’m going to buy some new comic books as well. Have not been spending any money at all….and I think its time to give myself a treat. Talking about treats, I gave my Dg class a breakfast treat at macdonalds. I think they totally deserve it for doing their best during the captains ball match. We were joined by wee tecks class which was cool. The more the merrier yah. The company was excellent, I was totally laughin all the way…not much can be said about some ppl’s eating habits though!!….I mean imagine seasoning ones egg with everything!!…and them slurping it up a straw and shooting it at ppl…degeneration of brain cells seems to be obvious at this point for some ppl…laughs!!…I’m listening to some real heavy music at the moment by rage against the machine. Heavy in the sense they put real effort into making a statement with their music. And morello plays a mean guitar. But I’m listening to their very first album on vinyl might I add!!!!….I RULE MAN!!!!!……THE PURE SOUND INDEED. CD’S AND MD’S CAN KISS MY HAIRY ASS!!!WHOOO!!!….they had rage when they first started off but then they got rich and there was not too much rage left I guess. sad! Hoping to have a sweet week ahead. Got to go to the hospital tomorrow…meet up with my nurse friends. They’re a real nice bunch. Respect to all nurses and care givers out there yah! Hope the chemo don’t kick in too fast…I’ll be left for a zombie aye. Well the ride was long today…but we were cruising. Thanks for hanging out. I’ll pick you up soon.

Yesterday I wasted a good $6.50 watching a movie I thought would at least give me a good laugh or blow me away with it’s creativity…I mean the imagination was there but we are talking about totally bogus crap here. Instead of calling it a action movie…they should have just called it JACKASS the movie 2. The movie I’m talking about would be Charlie’s Angels. Bad movie for women in general, there was nothing in the movie that would make a real woman feel like a real woman. It’s a good thing the women in the movie kept their clothes on if not it would have just been seen has a cheap porn flick. I’m glad I did not bring a girl along for this movie (thanks for the advice Jon). I think I would have felt embarrassed and be left with nothing to say to her for the rest of the date. I’m sure I enjoyed dumb and dumberer a lot more. I have utmost respect for women and totally dig lucy lui ( a friend of my mine from UK recently sent me a giant sized poster of lucy lui!) but the movie did nothing to improve the respectability of the female status…laughs!.
Well…that’s my view on that. I think its subjective though I mean if you just watch the movie for its purely wacky action and ass jiggling one would enjoy it I’m sure. Just another bad movie going experience I’m sure.

It’s only 11pm.….and I still have time to write my entry before it becomes a Monday.
This week has been a pretty good week for me apart from the usual hic ups I’m feeling pretty good about myself. Had time to create this Blog… with Bing xin giving me some priceless advice on how I should go about doing up the Blog. I have never done this kind of thing before…so pardon the spar city of the whole page. I surely intend to learn how to adorn my page with some personal touches of creativeness. During the course of the week I had time to hang out some good friends. Bing xin and wenjie came over to my place to chill out. Went out with Jon to watch dumb and dumberer,…we were both in a really brain dead mood and it was super hilarious. The cinema was pretty much empty and we were laughing the loudest…I think I laughed so hard that my insides were aching!!! I really enjoyed the movie. I always enjoy going out with Jon,…he’s really excellent company. Always filling me in on his life and sharing stuff he’s learnt. Always prepared to organize events and really making it happen. Good on you Jon!…had time after music practice on Saturday which was a real torture for about 2 hrs!!! to go hang out with Aaron,…wenjie was there too. Played on his PS2 on a projector. It kicked rear end man!! Finally had time to laugh and talk to Aaron about the Cancer and stuff. I’m so glad that God has blessed me with a family og really great friends.
Was so worried about playing the drums today cause I was feeling so tired in the morning, really want to thank God for showing me his mercy and blessing me with the strength I needed to go through the day. Thought I played the drums to the best of my abilities. My hands were so sore from playing the drums and the PS2 the day before. I think I have tendonitis…laughs. Like wenjie likes to tease me…”weak MAN you!!!”
Got back home from the church bbq about 2 hours ago. quite glad I went…got to talk to some people I don’t really get to talk to that often from the main service. And talked to some people whom I have no idea who they are!!!….laughs! scary man. Before reaching home…saw big bro and sis in law with Claire. She’s so cute and growing bigger everyday. She still wont consent to me carrying her, I think I have neglected in my duties as an uncle. Have to make a better effort. She’ll come to me eventually! I love her so much. Well that about wraps up my week. Another week ahead and more things for me to look forward to,…hope it’s the same for you reading this posting. Had a good read I hope. Write to you soon!!!

Today is the start of a journey...a long one I hope. I hate short rides...they always seem pointless. You get to point b but it never really counts you know. I've always thought of writing as a long ride...you never really get to end of anywhere, you might think it’s the end of the ride but it’s just not over. You’re still hanging in there with probably one foot out the door but always ready to get back into the drivers seat. And as we "drive" through our writings we encounter so many different colors, surroundings and a kaleidoscope of emotions. It’s a time a when we are in complete control of everything or we have no control at all. I guess it’s “space” that everybody needs and everybody craves for. It’s a time of self exploration or just plain old bitchin about life. But as we ride the ride…I think we all get better at it. We learn to navigate better though treacherous roads and we appreciate the whole experience to the fullest. The ride…may it not end for you. I have a couple of seats available…you want to ride?