Friday, October 29, 2004
These days all I see when I look out my window is the haze. Clouds of haze rolling on like huge waves though the dense forestry that still survives around this part of the country. And I see a whole lot yes..Living on the 23rd floor of a point block in jurong west. My eyes are always on the lookout for that one really nice sunset.
but the haze it goes well with the cold, down and dreary vibe.
I ended my chemotherapy for this week yesterday. Feeling the usual same old same old. Tiredness..Having that cruddy feeling of noxiousness...And a major loss in appetite. No worries..Another couple of days and I should be up and about doing my thang. Looking forward to the end of everyone's exams...So I can start hanging out with the people I love so much!! And I need to tell Gan that I want to play for the church band next week during main service. Something for me to look forward too.
had the chance to talk to this kid who just got admitted at the cancer ward. He has stage one leukemia. And from what I noticed while talking to him, he seems a lil afraid about what he might have to go through with treatment and all,...He has the support of his family and friends and that counts for a lot. I'm glad I talked to him...Another friend..Another soul to save. Well that's about it for now...Remember fellow travelers, we're all tools...We just need to get out of that locked tool box and make ourselves useful. Guess what!,..The skies clearing up and I might just get that sunset I want! Later dudes.
but the haze it goes well with the cold, down and dreary vibe.
I ended my chemotherapy for this week yesterday. Feeling the usual same old same old. Tiredness..Having that cruddy feeling of noxiousness...And a major loss in appetite. No worries..Another couple of days and I should be up and about doing my thang. Looking forward to the end of everyone's exams...So I can start hanging out with the people I love so much!! And I need to tell Gan that I want to play for the church band next week during main service. Something for me to look forward too.
had the chance to talk to this kid who just got admitted at the cancer ward. He has stage one leukemia. And from what I noticed while talking to him, he seems a lil afraid about what he might have to go through with treatment and all,...He has the support of his family and friends and that counts for a lot. I'm glad I talked to him...Another friend..Another soul to save. Well that's about it for now...Remember fellow travelers, we're all tools...We just need to get out of that locked tool box and make ourselves useful. Guess what!,..The skies clearing up and I might just get that sunset I want! Later dudes.
i thought i'd do a little comic book review.i have no idea why i did not write about this earlier..prob cause i did not have any place to write this in. I do remember telling folks around me about this comic i had just read. i think one person i do tell about my comic book readings on a frequent basis other then Jon boy is my oncologist Doc. B.
Mom, apple pie, chevrolet and Superman...
All things American. the Ulitmate American icon being Superman...and the writer mark millar putting him in the ultimate what-if senario. Imagine superman wasn't red, white and blue...imagine superman was red...communist red? instead of baby Kal-El landing in the loving arms of Ma and Pa Kent in the good ol' U.S of A., he lands in the loving arms of Josef stalin back in the U.S.S.R. NO longer superman American icon, but superman soviet comrade- needless to say the storyline is more then intriguing. In the hands of a lesser writer the story would have fallen into a cookie cutter, black and white, America good, Soviets bad, feel good propaganda. Thank God mark millar is not a lesser writer. and thank God his favorite color seems to be gray. all this is caught in the graphic novel entitled Red Son.
the artistic palette of dave johnson's and kilian plunkett's pencils.andrew robinson's and walden wong's inks, and paul mount's colors combine to create a Kafkaesque(http://www.kirjasto.sci.fi/kafka.htm) , Max fleischer cartoon that collides with the best of propaganda art.(Max Fleischer is unarguably one of the pioneers of animation. His responsibilities in bringing Betty Boop and Popeye to the silver screen would alone warrant him a place in the history books) its not like you're reading a graphic novel but watching a movie. This book is everything i love about comic books...its that whole nazi feel...a tale of great morality with art that leaps off the page and into your mind's eye.
Even if you have never read a comic book before, you can pick this book up and follow the story and enjoy a great ride. but don't be fooled; it is much more then just that. Red Son is a sharp social commentary on capitalism vs. communism and current American foriegn policy. Not bad for a funny book.if you are a comic book fan then you will notice the detail to the superman mythology. All the elements that make superman great are there : Lex Luthor, Lois Luthor..(yes i typed that out right!), Jimmy Olsen, even Batman, Wonder Woman, and the greatest Green Lantern of them all, Hal Jordan. All of them the same, yet different - all reinvented. Even the traditional "S" on his chest has been replaced by the hammer and sickle, one thing is still the same- Superman believes he is still doing the right thing. He has the best of intentions, but we all know what the road to hell is paved with. Yet superman still wants to make the world safe, except this time he is willing to force us to see that his way is the best.
Ben Franklin once wrote "those who would sacrifice their freedom for safety will find they inherit neither." That line, written over two hundred years ago, may have more meaning now then ever before. Good writing challenges the way you think. Great writing changes the way you think. RED SON is great writing. Mark Millar started writing this book in 1995..a far cry from what the world is right now. Looking into the future and seeing Superman as the poster child for Big Brother. the X-ray vision seeing, all super-hearing listening, all knowing, all powerful Big Brother. All- encompassing security, like a baby in a super blanket- just one thing...don't think for yourself and don't challenge the system. free will or freedom in exchange for absolute security- i dont think Ben Franklin would have liked that idea. have a good read folks.
Mom, apple pie, chevrolet and Superman...
All things American. the Ulitmate American icon being Superman...and the writer mark millar putting him in the ultimate what-if senario. Imagine superman wasn't red, white and blue...imagine superman was red...communist red? instead of baby Kal-El landing in the loving arms of Ma and Pa Kent in the good ol' U.S of A., he lands in the loving arms of Josef stalin back in the U.S.S.R. NO longer superman American icon, but superman soviet comrade- needless to say the storyline is more then intriguing. In the hands of a lesser writer the story would have fallen into a cookie cutter, black and white, America good, Soviets bad, feel good propaganda. Thank God mark millar is not a lesser writer. and thank God his favorite color seems to be gray. all this is caught in the graphic novel entitled Red Son.
the artistic palette of dave johnson's and kilian plunkett's pencils.andrew robinson's and walden wong's inks, and paul mount's colors combine to create a Kafkaesque(http://www.kirjasto.sci.fi/kafka.htm) , Max fleischer cartoon that collides with the best of propaganda art.(Max Fleischer is unarguably one of the pioneers of animation. His responsibilities in bringing Betty Boop and Popeye to the silver screen would alone warrant him a place in the history books) its not like you're reading a graphic novel but watching a movie. This book is everything i love about comic books...its that whole nazi feel...a tale of great morality with art that leaps off the page and into your mind's eye.
Even if you have never read a comic book before, you can pick this book up and follow the story and enjoy a great ride. but don't be fooled; it is much more then just that. Red Son is a sharp social commentary on capitalism vs. communism and current American foriegn policy. Not bad for a funny book.if you are a comic book fan then you will notice the detail to the superman mythology. All the elements that make superman great are there : Lex Luthor, Lois Luthor..(yes i typed that out right!), Jimmy Olsen, even Batman, Wonder Woman, and the greatest Green Lantern of them all, Hal Jordan. All of them the same, yet different - all reinvented. Even the traditional "S" on his chest has been replaced by the hammer and sickle, one thing is still the same- Superman believes he is still doing the right thing. He has the best of intentions, but we all know what the road to hell is paved with. Yet superman still wants to make the world safe, except this time he is willing to force us to see that his way is the best.
Ben Franklin once wrote "those who would sacrifice their freedom for safety will find they inherit neither." That line, written over two hundred years ago, may have more meaning now then ever before. Good writing challenges the way you think. Great writing changes the way you think. RED SON is great writing. Mark Millar started writing this book in 1995..a far cry from what the world is right now. Looking into the future and seeing Superman as the poster child for Big Brother. the X-ray vision seeing, all super-hearing listening, all knowing, all powerful Big Brother. All- encompassing security, like a baby in a super blanket- just one thing...don't think for yourself and don't challenge the system. free will or freedom in exchange for absolute security- i dont think Ben Franklin would have liked that idea. have a good read folks.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Heres is a lil something for you guys.was talking to my friend Usha who recently went to Penn. USA for a study exhange and she was talking about this beer she drank there...its called Yuengling, sounds very chinese right...wrong. its a German word and it means young man. A German beer brewer by the name of David G. Yuengling establishes the Eagle Brewery on Centre Street in Pottsville, Pennsylvania. in 1829 and is one of America's oldest beer brewery. Pretty neat huh..we learn something new everyday.Got Beer?
Monday, October 25, 2004
this blog comes in late cause i got my ass back home real late last night. was at my cousins place watching the "Big Match" on the tele. i reckon Arsenal had to lose a game finally...so as a firm and true supporter of my club i'll admit defeat and move along...taking the defeat in stride and knowing that there are only better things to come.
sunday was good cause i finally got to play the drums during the main service...after a long break away from performing it felt good to be back doing my thang. Gan..John...Uncle Loy and Yeok Min are all super nice ppl to play with..and everyone is generous with their praises for my playing. its a nice feeling i must say to be appreciated. Ben asked me if i would be interested to give a lil motivationl talk at his company.i accepted. dear Jon boy did not make it for WOW service yesterday..must have prob studied into the wee hours of the morn.had a chance to hangout with BX.we had a pretty decent lunch and a most stimulating conversation.
after which i proceeded to go to my Aunt Susie's place for tea. she had made these killer currypuff's...hmm..hmm..hmm!it was nice just hanging out with the boys,uncle jimmy and aunt Susie.we had a fab-tab-bulous dinner...home cooked of course.watched the game with the boys. there was much thrash talking!it always adds to the excitement.
Adrian drove me home.by the time i got back home i was totally bushed. Set the alarm to go off early cause i had to get up early for an appt at NUH. and off i am to the land of Zee's. later dudes
sunday was good cause i finally got to play the drums during the main service...after a long break away from performing it felt good to be back doing my thang. Gan..John...Uncle Loy and Yeok Min are all super nice ppl to play with..and everyone is generous with their praises for my playing. its a nice feeling i must say to be appreciated. Ben asked me if i would be interested to give a lil motivationl talk at his company.i accepted. dear Jon boy did not make it for WOW service yesterday..must have prob studied into the wee hours of the morn.had a chance to hangout with BX.we had a pretty decent lunch and a most stimulating conversation.
after which i proceeded to go to my Aunt Susie's place for tea. she had made these killer currypuff's...hmm..hmm..hmm!it was nice just hanging out with the boys,uncle jimmy and aunt Susie.we had a fab-tab-bulous dinner...home cooked of course.watched the game with the boys. there was much thrash talking!it always adds to the excitement.
Adrian drove me home.by the time i got back home i was totally bushed. Set the alarm to go off early cause i had to get up early for an appt at NUH. and off i am to the land of Zee's. later dudes
Sunday, October 24, 2004
the weather in singapore has been pleasant the last few days...with it raining at all the right times...its been really nice to just sleep in with a book or just to have a reason to get up really late.got up at about noon today and just lazed about the house.since i bought some bacon yesterday, i made myself a grilled bacon, ham and cheese sandwich....i make the best ones!!
went out for dinner with Aaron and Robin.Aaron got me the coolest T-shirt ever.will be wearing it to church tomorrow....i'm sure it'll raise some eye brows..but what the hell do i care yah.its just a T-shirt!!..had a great time with the guys during dinner...talking about old times....and Aaron was telling us about his trip to Australia.he really enjoyed himself there.went to play pool after that...had a shit load of fun there as well.after which we proceeded to have supper.we did some poeple watching while waiting for a table..and decided that there should not be any gun control in singapore and we should be in charge of "clearing the trash". i could not stop laughing even on way home.did the lil quiz thingy that both JOn and Char did...seems to be pretty accurate......keep Riding dudes!!...keep safe and God bless!
eXpressive: 5/10Practical: 6/10Physical: 3/10Giver: 10/10
You are a RPIG--Reserved Practical Intellectual Giver.
This makes you a Rock of Gibraltar.
You are loyal, kind, thoughtful and conscientious. You're a good person. You make everyone around you happier and better, even if you yourself are not at your happiest or best. You just care so much about your friends and loved ones that you can't help giving them everything of yourself. It can wear you out, but you'd never let on. You're successful, smart and fun to be with, but your self-esteem could use some boosting. You don't like conflict, and you don't like demanding things for yourself, so you can feel unappreciated. But then you wonder if you don't deserve to be appreciated. You do! You have many small crushes, but it takes you ages to get to a serious stage with someone. You get so caught up second-guessing yourself and worrying if the other person really *likes* likes you that you never dare to make the first move. Generally you end up with another clever RPIG who knows one when s/he sees one. This adds up to one long courtship. Fortunately this also adds up to one long marriage. You would never cheat. You would never hurt anyone's feelings. You are so sympathetic and give so many second chances that it takes a lo-o-ong time for anyone to get on your bad side. Your only problem is you can be *too* thoughtful -- you can end up worrying and getting hung up over nothing.
You may be a boy scout.
Of the 139730 people who have taken this quiz, 7 % are this type.
went out for dinner with Aaron and Robin.Aaron got me the coolest T-shirt ever.will be wearing it to church tomorrow....i'm sure it'll raise some eye brows..but what the hell do i care yah.its just a T-shirt!!..had a great time with the guys during dinner...talking about old times....and Aaron was telling us about his trip to Australia.he really enjoyed himself there.went to play pool after that...had a shit load of fun there as well.after which we proceeded to have supper.we did some poeple watching while waiting for a table..and decided that there should not be any gun control in singapore and we should be in charge of "clearing the trash". i could not stop laughing even on way home.did the lil quiz thingy that both JOn and Char did...seems to be pretty accurate......keep Riding dudes!!...keep safe and God bless!
eXpressive: 5/10Practical: 6/10Physical: 3/10Giver: 10/10
You are a RPIG--Reserved Practical Intellectual Giver.
This makes you a Rock of Gibraltar.
You are loyal, kind, thoughtful and conscientious. You're a good person. You make everyone around you happier and better, even if you yourself are not at your happiest or best. You just care so much about your friends and loved ones that you can't help giving them everything of yourself. It can wear you out, but you'd never let on. You're successful, smart and fun to be with, but your self-esteem could use some boosting. You don't like conflict, and you don't like demanding things for yourself, so you can feel unappreciated. But then you wonder if you don't deserve to be appreciated. You do! You have many small crushes, but it takes you ages to get to a serious stage with someone. You get so caught up second-guessing yourself and worrying if the other person really *likes* likes you that you never dare to make the first move. Generally you end up with another clever RPIG who knows one when s/he sees one. This adds up to one long courtship. Fortunately this also adds up to one long marriage. You would never cheat. You would never hurt anyone's feelings. You are so sympathetic and give so many second chances that it takes a lo-o-ong time for anyone to get on your bad side. Your only problem is you can be *too* thoughtful -- you can end up worrying and getting hung up over nothing.
You may be a boy scout.
Of the 139730 people who have taken this quiz, 7 % are this type.
Saturday, October 23, 2004
i had a good friday...i woke up knowing that i wanted to go to town to get something to read. had to also pick up a book for my old man from borders.had the chance to whip out my i-pod and make good use of it.had a great time browsing through some cookbooks...cause i really want to start cooking again.got ideas for some super pasta dishes and a couple of seafood dishes.going to try baking some cookies too..want to give them as a present to the nurses at the cancer center.
after spending about 5 hours at borders i called Euge and we decided to meet up at holland V to have dinner cause he was playing at Wala later.had some killer yang cho chow fun. tried to sneak into Wala with him but the place was so damn packed.was not even worth the queue if i was there as a customer.so cindy drove me home.sat down to write my very first blog entry in about a year.thank you Jon for persuading me to do so.dudes!! the rainbows not too far away now.be safe.God bless.
after spending about 5 hours at borders i called Euge and we decided to meet up at holland V to have dinner cause he was playing at Wala later.had some killer yang cho chow fun. tried to sneak into Wala with him but the place was so damn packed.was not even worth the queue if i was there as a customer.so cindy drove me home.sat down to write my very first blog entry in about a year.thank you Jon for persuading me to do so.dudes!! the rainbows not too far away now.be safe.God bless.
whoah...this is like really something man.i've been away from this thingamagic for a whole year now.No!!..i did not get into a gang fight and have both my hands chopped off...had surgery done for new prosthetic hands and have been hard training to type on a keyboard again..neither was i away on some top secret mission..where i was stranded on a floating island somewhere near bora bora...found by the natives...hung with them for a bit for the shits and giggles...got layed a couple hundred times...got high on the "magic mushrooms" and lush vegetations of the islands and finally decided i gave a shit about humanity and here i am...though i wish that was true...
hmmm.truth be told...i think i was just distracted by a girl in my life who is now non existent..i broke up with my first ever girlfriend ok.we wont go into that...its neither a story you could laugh or cry about...just one of them regular boy meets girl...boy likes girl..they decide to be together..but when the shit hits the fan...over and over and over again...they decide to take a chill pill and call it quits.
and in our case i have cancer...and am over so often reminded that my life is fragile and the "unseen" pain it causes the ppl who love and care for me the most affects me ever so badly.but my life has always been good due to the fact that God alone sees it fit that i have such a life.through his grace and mercy..and abundance of blessings upon me.
at the end of last year after i was hospitalized and got myself pulled out of chemotherapy.i was invited to go on a holiday to thailand with Eugene and Cindy.i think we were there for about 2 weeks and we had so much fun.hitting the beaches in the day...doing all kindsa water sports...going for massages...and at night we would stuff our faces with seafood and a shit load of alcohol.it was really nice cause i was back at full health and the pace in thailand is so slow and relaxed.it was a nice holiday...when i got back to singapore. someone approached me to help them with a cookbook for diabetics.
if you're in any kinda profession you know there certain things you want to attain..and since i'm in the culinary field. i've always wanted to come up with a cookbook or at least have my name in one and here i had the chance...needless to say i have accomplished more then most young ppl in this field....i'm still in my mid 20's and i have freakin cancer man!!i am indeed the master of all troglodytes!!...apologies..got a lil carried away there.well...i got the cookbook done...and i heard they've already sold like a 100,000 copies...count that folks...no you aint got that many fingers.
recently when i was hospitalized i was suprised to see that i even got one of my pics on a local health magazine..how awesome is that man!the money from the project sent me all the way to New Zealand.i was there for about 2 and half weeks....and i did some extreme shit that would have made the urukai(mean lookin S.O.B type monsters from Lord Of The Rings)..pee in their panties.the place was so pretty with its surreal looking flowers and magnificent landscape..which made my jaw drop a couple of times.the food there was good too..on the first day i was there i had a side of beef rib that was like 650grams!!..now thats a huge slab of meat aye!and we had these super duper burgers in queenstown called ferg burgers..and its shop was located in some crudy corner..i guess you need a keen nose like mine to seek out the grub. i took some pretty pictures too...and i even got to drive!!!all in all it was a great holiday...because i got to spend it with some really good friends.
back home...i had to go for a CT scan and a check up with doc. B. this check did not go down too well...cause the tumor was already spreading.and on that very check up doc. B had to take my blood pressure like 6 times and i was told that i had high blood pressure and if not checked could lead to a severe stroke and a coma.my kidneys were also not functioning at optimum level.
so to my great dismay i had to be hospitalized...crappers.i think it would be 3 or 4 weeks before wee teck and cat would actually leave for the states.so Cat was around the cancer ward to look out for me and stuff.the stay in the ward was not all that good.i had to get both my kidneys punctured..they were bloated the kidneys..so tubes had to be stuck to drain them.when i went to get my first kidney punctured i thought i was going to die...no seriously..my kidney according to the surgeon was in a "odd" position and was really hard to find.they had to call in the head of the dept to do the procedure.there was a point during the procedure when i screaming and telling them to stop cause i could not breath...not very becoming but i guess when you're freakin out...you just freak out.so on a day when lots should have happened..and could have happened..good and bad of course..God kept me.i was injected with some good old morphine..and i was sleeping like a baby.
i was given 2 days to rest off the trauma.and i was back on the operating bed.this time they got a really old looking..american accented chap to operate on me.he did a really good job...i had the tubes inserted...and had some stens inserted into my kidneys all the way down to my bladder.its like putting extra piping into the system just in case it gets clogged by the tumor.i had to stay in the hospital for a really long time man...and i dont sleep well on hospital beds,the fact that i had 2 tubes coming out of my back..and tubes for drips on my arms...mobility was not on my side.i could sit up though...and talk and stuff.
love my family and friends...Jon..BX..wenjie..aaron..robin..euge..cindy.. jeremy..charlie..joy.. janice.. fiona..arnette..sarah..peggy.. uncle richard..aitee..lizzie..ethel..eve..charlottle..godmom nancy..godmom yuting and my sweet aunty susie,uncle jimmy,cousins adrian,edwin and mervin.they came and went...showering me with their support,smiles and sweets.
by this time i was takin morphine pretty much everyday..just to kinda kill the pain and all.but it was also during my stay in the hospital that i met Andy..who was about 20 yrs old..he had had prostate cancer for about 2 yrs .his cancer was in a pretty advance stage and they were trying to treat him with chemo.he was lil more mobile then me...so he would always pull up a chair near to my bed to have a chat.he sounded like a nice guy...who felt a lil bitter about the fact that he had cancer.and through his own sufferings had brought about pain,grief and problems to his own family by the fact that he did not come from a well to do family.he being the eldest child of the family...was not healthy enough to care for the more obvious worldy burdens.i suspect that maybe because his family was not having a great time dealing with his condition..he punished himself by ostracizing himself from his friends and banished himself to his own home.
if you've ever been sick or mentally defeated..theres a certain facial expression that will certainly give it away.even if you try to smile or laugh it off...its still there.its like a sick stigma that sticks like glue.and andy had that look.i did not pity him in anyways...he wanted to fight the cancer with all his heart but sometimes even that does not count.even though i finally left the hospital, i would visit him everytime i had an appointment at the hospital.i would talk and pray for him.gladly some other Christians also decided to do the same thing and he finally came to know Christ.
Andy died about 2 weeks ago....we will never know what would have happened to him if he had gotten better through the treatment.maybe he would have become successful,rich...gotten married..have a whole bunch of kids.driven a cool car..these things seem imaterial to Christians who truely believe that there is something better to look forward to after death...Andy would have been one of those ppl.but you dont want to be at deaths door or be at a point where you're suffering so badly that theres nothing else to believe in to be enlightened by the fact that heaven is real.
i've always believed that in life there are bound to be screw ups...and as badly as we dont want to let go of regret.we Should live life without regrets...whats been done is done...just let it go.today is gone...but theres always a good tomorrow to look forward to.do not obsess yourselves with whats going to happen to your physical Body...and wonder if a flu is going to kill you,death is inevitable so live life to its fullest and make it count for something.its called simple faith my friends and its something we could all do with.
i'm sorry i seem to have drifted...the blog is starting to sound like a sermon.i guess i have a lil message that i want to share and words are one of the tools of the Lord.you know what guys...the ride did not end...i was always driving and you guys were always right there with me.i guess we just had so much driving to do...so much thoughts to collect.its raining right about now...drops of water are falling around the car...i love the noise of water bouncing off metal.i see a rainbow in the distance....and we are so there dudes!!
hmmm.truth be told...i think i was just distracted by a girl in my life who is now non existent..i broke up with my first ever girlfriend ok.we wont go into that...its neither a story you could laugh or cry about...just one of them regular boy meets girl...boy likes girl..they decide to be together..but when the shit hits the fan...over and over and over again...they decide to take a chill pill and call it quits.
and in our case i have cancer...and am over so often reminded that my life is fragile and the "unseen" pain it causes the ppl who love and care for me the most affects me ever so badly.but my life has always been good due to the fact that God alone sees it fit that i have such a life.through his grace and mercy..and abundance of blessings upon me.
at the end of last year after i was hospitalized and got myself pulled out of chemotherapy.i was invited to go on a holiday to thailand with Eugene and Cindy.i think we were there for about 2 weeks and we had so much fun.hitting the beaches in the day...doing all kindsa water sports...going for massages...and at night we would stuff our faces with seafood and a shit load of alcohol.it was really nice cause i was back at full health and the pace in thailand is so slow and relaxed.it was a nice holiday...when i got back to singapore. someone approached me to help them with a cookbook for diabetics.
if you're in any kinda profession you know there certain things you want to attain..and since i'm in the culinary field. i've always wanted to come up with a cookbook or at least have my name in one and here i had the chance...needless to say i have accomplished more then most young ppl in this field....i'm still in my mid 20's and i have freakin cancer man!!i am indeed the master of all troglodytes!!...apologies..got a lil carried away there.well...i got the cookbook done...and i heard they've already sold like a 100,000 copies...count that folks...no you aint got that many fingers.
recently when i was hospitalized i was suprised to see that i even got one of my pics on a local health magazine..how awesome is that man!the money from the project sent me all the way to New Zealand.i was there for about 2 and half weeks....and i did some extreme shit that would have made the urukai(mean lookin S.O.B type monsters from Lord Of The Rings)..pee in their panties.the place was so pretty with its surreal looking flowers and magnificent landscape..which made my jaw drop a couple of times.the food there was good too..on the first day i was there i had a side of beef rib that was like 650grams!!..now thats a huge slab of meat aye!and we had these super duper burgers in queenstown called ferg burgers..and its shop was located in some crudy corner..i guess you need a keen nose like mine to seek out the grub. i took some pretty pictures too...and i even got to drive!!!all in all it was a great holiday...because i got to spend it with some really good friends.
back home...i had to go for a CT scan and a check up with doc. B. this check did not go down too well...cause the tumor was already spreading.and on that very check up doc. B had to take my blood pressure like 6 times and i was told that i had high blood pressure and if not checked could lead to a severe stroke and a coma.my kidneys were also not functioning at optimum level.
so to my great dismay i had to be hospitalized...crappers.i think it would be 3 or 4 weeks before wee teck and cat would actually leave for the states.so Cat was around the cancer ward to look out for me and stuff.the stay in the ward was not all that good.i had to get both my kidneys punctured..they were bloated the kidneys..so tubes had to be stuck to drain them.when i went to get my first kidney punctured i thought i was going to die...no seriously..my kidney according to the surgeon was in a "odd" position and was really hard to find.they had to call in the head of the dept to do the procedure.there was a point during the procedure when i screaming and telling them to stop cause i could not breath...not very becoming but i guess when you're freakin out...you just freak out.so on a day when lots should have happened..and could have happened..good and bad of course..God kept me.i was injected with some good old morphine..and i was sleeping like a baby.
i was given 2 days to rest off the trauma.and i was back on the operating bed.this time they got a really old looking..american accented chap to operate on me.he did a really good job...i had the tubes inserted...and had some stens inserted into my kidneys all the way down to my bladder.its like putting extra piping into the system just in case it gets clogged by the tumor.i had to stay in the hospital for a really long time man...and i dont sleep well on hospital beds,the fact that i had 2 tubes coming out of my back..and tubes for drips on my arms...mobility was not on my side.i could sit up though...and talk and stuff.
love my family and friends...Jon..BX..wenjie..aaron..robin..euge..cindy.. jeremy..charlie..joy.. janice.. fiona..arnette..sarah..peggy.. uncle richard..aitee..lizzie..ethel..eve..charlottle..godmom nancy..godmom yuting and my sweet aunty susie,uncle jimmy,cousins adrian,edwin and mervin.they came and went...showering me with their support,smiles and sweets.
by this time i was takin morphine pretty much everyday..just to kinda kill the pain and all.but it was also during my stay in the hospital that i met Andy..who was about 20 yrs old..he had had prostate cancer for about 2 yrs .his cancer was in a pretty advance stage and they were trying to treat him with chemo.he was lil more mobile then me...so he would always pull up a chair near to my bed to have a chat.he sounded like a nice guy...who felt a lil bitter about the fact that he had cancer.and through his own sufferings had brought about pain,grief and problems to his own family by the fact that he did not come from a well to do family.he being the eldest child of the family...was not healthy enough to care for the more obvious worldy burdens.i suspect that maybe because his family was not having a great time dealing with his condition..he punished himself by ostracizing himself from his friends and banished himself to his own home.
if you've ever been sick or mentally defeated..theres a certain facial expression that will certainly give it away.even if you try to smile or laugh it off...its still there.its like a sick stigma that sticks like glue.and andy had that look.i did not pity him in anyways...he wanted to fight the cancer with all his heart but sometimes even that does not count.even though i finally left the hospital, i would visit him everytime i had an appointment at the hospital.i would talk and pray for him.gladly some other Christians also decided to do the same thing and he finally came to know Christ.
Andy died about 2 weeks ago....we will never know what would have happened to him if he had gotten better through the treatment.maybe he would have become successful,rich...gotten married..have a whole bunch of kids.driven a cool car..these things seem imaterial to Christians who truely believe that there is something better to look forward to after death...Andy would have been one of those ppl.but you dont want to be at deaths door or be at a point where you're suffering so badly that theres nothing else to believe in to be enlightened by the fact that heaven is real.
i've always believed that in life there are bound to be screw ups...and as badly as we dont want to let go of regret.we Should live life without regrets...whats been done is done...just let it go.today is gone...but theres always a good tomorrow to look forward to.do not obsess yourselves with whats going to happen to your physical Body...and wonder if a flu is going to kill you,death is inevitable so live life to its fullest and make it count for something.its called simple faith my friends and its something we could all do with.
i'm sorry i seem to have drifted...the blog is starting to sound like a sermon.i guess i have a lil message that i want to share and words are one of the tools of the Lord.you know what guys...the ride did not end...i was always driving and you guys were always right there with me.i guess we just had so much driving to do...so much thoughts to collect.its raining right about now...drops of water are falling around the car...i love the noise of water bouncing off metal.i see a rainbow in the distance....and we are so there dudes!!
Friday, October 22, 2004
welcome back to your daily dose of kelvin david. now coming to you, renovated, revamped and reborn.
