TAKE A RIDE ON THE WILD SIDE

My visit to the Cancer Center

Sitting at the cancer center right now…writing this entry. I’m having one of them dazed out days. The weather has not been kind to anyone…and I can literally feel the humidity in the air. I’m always craving a cool unbroken breeze, jumping into a pool is always on the cards and taking a shower under a raindrop shower head with cold coka cola pouring forth are what current dreams are made of. I have not been feeling very well as of recent, and as always I don’t make much of it, I’m sleeping like 15hours a week, I’m down to eating one meal a day, it takes me a real long time to digest my food and I feel like vomiting if I eat more. Sometimes I feel it would be easier to just vomit my food out then to wait for it to go through my entire digestive track. I have been sleeping but I sleep because I’m feeling dazed and totally zapped of energy, even on days when I have not done much…but then what is much when you have cancer yes. God has been generous in his grace and mercy by allowing me to apply myself even in my time of weakness. I recently signed up to be put back on the roster for the youth band and was also asked to play for praise night this coming Friday. This means I have extra music practices to attend, more playing time on Sundays leading me to be totally drained of energy. Is this what it means when they say some artist do suffer for their art form….laughs….then I say bring on the pain. I’m loving every min I get to play the drums, I’m super blessed to be playing with such a talented group of musicians. And as always my friend are always around to encourage and help me through my frustrations.

I had a good start to the day. Was invited by Charlie from church to go down to St Francis to give the students a lil “career talk”, to tell them what to expect if they do decide to enter the hospitality line. Assure them that being academically inclined is not everything, being born with no natural abilities does not make a person an abnormality or abomination but rather being focused and working hard at being good at something builds character and teaches some brilliant life lessons. And that a decent education is not a bad thing to have in the long run. Some very hard things to swallow down at that age when life just seems filled with unnecessary hassles and so much angst. How is one to feel apt and happy with the bare minimal when society expects so much. How does a young person avoid the pressures that society throws at them ? How are we suppose to improve and learn when we’re not even allowed to screw up? Probably one reason why I have few happy childhood memories cause I was always trying so hard not to screw up. I’m guessing that’s why we also live in a “sick” society filled with anger, envy, pride, stress, greed….imagine if a simple solution to the whole cancer problem was just to be happy….no stress…no need to compete….just give yourself the chance to do the things you really want to do….and just like that cancer is eradicated. Here is a sick thought for you…why eradicate the cancer problem with one drug that might already be out there when big evil pharmaceutical corporations keep creating half ass solutions to a long term money making problem. Its pretty sad when you think about the great number of ppl who have cancer and who could do without that financial burden….but it’s such a pretty sight when the human spirit is challenged and is allowed to overcome and be triumphant. I guess that is why I understand so well why God allows suffering and other bad things to happen…because there is always something to learn, something to feel, something to take time and understand.

Well I just finished talking to doc Ben. Did a blood test before I saw him…and the results don’t look too good for my kidneys. Creatinin levels are up, so that’s probably whats causing me to feel dazed and tired out. My blood pressure is up too…surprise there. Doc put me on more meds for the blood pressure. Have to go for a CT scan on Friday…which is going totally suck…hope it does not screw up my body too badly cause I still have to play the drums at night. Have to go for a scope too to see why I might be throwing up my food. Its been a while since my last scope….and I hated going for scopes. Doc gave me a body check and felt a slight bulge around my tummy area- a sign that my tumor might be on the move….we’ll find out next week I reckon. Not really upset or anything like that….just a lil bummed out by the fact that I have to delay my trip to Thailand a lil longer…not cool man….well dying on the trip would not be too cool either….thanks for understanding Jon boy!! anyways as always after the medical side of everything is done, doc ben being the super nice doc that he is decides we should have a long conversation about God, the church in singapore, Christians-the way some decide to function, educate themselves and some who are just plain lost. Doc ben was also telling me about his time in Sri lanka, and how he felt that being in touch with God was so important….in worship and in the word.

That’s about it for now. Will keep you guys updated about stuff.
Take it easy. Ride safe guys.