Saturday, May 28, 2005
Lessons learnt and stuff I noticed from watching Star Wars Episode III – Revenge of the Sith
1. When the leader says “Everything’s fine, go wait on the LAVA PLANET", be suspicious.
2. The Dark Side of the Force is called “The Dark Side” for a reason. It’s not like “The Dark Side of the Moon".
3. Robots with cutesy voices are annoying, not adorable. That goes double for aliens with cutesy voices. Triple for robots with cutesy voices and smoker’s cough.
4. For some reason, robots talk to each other in English, instead of using wifi or bluetooth or something.
5. Coruscant OB/GYN technology leaves something to be desired. [Update: “Luke” and “Leia” are clearly the Naboo words for “Morphine” and “Epidural"]
6. 20 years seems like nothing when you’re ruling the galaxy.
7. Darth Vader is not scarier with an artful allusion to Frankenstein.
8. The whole ‘you can keep her alive if you become a sith’ thing was so unconvincing. Yep, so I keep my girlfriend alive if I massacre hundreds of people. I think most philosophy departments would have something to say about that (would you eat a chicken if I threatened to kill another chicken question). The fact old ‘Ani’ was supposed to be a wise Jedi and couldn’t see the bloomin’ obvious was hilarious.
Their words of love scene was bizarre. It made no sense. Something about her looking beautiful and then the conversation turned weird. No wonder she felt he wasn’t sharing something with her
9. Why is the death star at the end half-finished if it takes another 17 years to complete it?
10. did you really saw the movie people, werent you paying attention? the alien doctor said, there was nothing wrong with her, that she was dying because she lost the will to live, and i dont think anyone will ever come up with a medicine for that. what kind of diagnostic tool do you use to test “will to live"? I want one!
11. the big long slow-motion “Nooooooo!” is more–not less–ridiculus when you’re wearing a Darth Vader helmet.
12. And you mean to tell me that the Dark Lord of the Sith searched the galaxy for his child, and “traitorous” Master, Obi Wan, for twenty years, and NEVER CHECKED AT HIS BROTHER’S HOUSE, BACK ON TATTOOINE?
“RASP WHEEZE RASP WHEEZE…Owen, this is Darth. Is Luke over there? RASP WHEEZE”
I mean Darth must have had some kinda force type connection with his kids yes!
13. OK, so the entire Jedi Council, full of Jedi Masters, is in their little meeting room. Well I take that back, there were a few that were on other planets and we saw their “images” being beamed in during the council meetings. So they’ve talked about looking for this Sith Lord for many many years and yet with all their knowledge of force, they couldn’t tell he was a few blocks over in another building? Freakin’ Obi-Wan felt an entire planet being blown apart light years away, yet the council of Jedi Masters couldn’t tell that the Dark Sith Lord was around the corner! Another thing, Obi-wan gets his ass kicked by Dooku when they were trying to save Palpatine and Anni kills Dooku (I’m assuming because Anni said his powers have grown 20 times stronger or whatever since their last meeting as I’m sure he’s been able to train quite a bit…lol). So then at the end of Episode III, Obi-wan kicks Anni’s ass and leaves him for dead…this after we assume Anni gets even stronger with the dark side of the force. Maybe it’s like starting over though, his main job is now with the dark side so after killing the separatists he gained like Level 2 in the dark side and Obi-wan is like at Level 55 in the good side…Then you have Padme not realizing (again I’m assuming they’ve done high tech ultrasounds during her pregnancy) that the two little blips on the screen are twins! Also I’m sure a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away they never listened to the baby’s heart beats during the pregnancy. I’m sure if they did, the droid doctor just said the two beats she’s hearing is just an echo or something stupid. And why would they wipe the protocol droid’s memory (C-3P0) and not the astromech droid’s memory (R2-D2)? Is that because not many people can understand the beeps and whistles? Luke was able to do so, don’t you think R2-D2 would want to fill Luke in on a “little secret” about Darth Vader? Then there’s the whole “execute directive 66″ bullcrap. Like nobody would have checked on what the heck the “creators” would have taught/programmed into the clones? If the Jedi Council didn’t trust Palpatine, they sure did trust his judgment with the clones
14. If you are going to go to the trouble of cutting someones legs off, take some basic pride in your work and finish the job.
Honestly… Obi-Wan knew he’d led the attack on the temple, watched him kill the younglings, and had nearly been killed by him. I’d take that a good cue it was time to help Anakin “curl up his tootsies and shuffle off this mortal coil, go and join the bleedin’ choir…” (Dead Parrot Routine)but jedi don’t kill their own kind ever, if obi wan had killed anakin he would have been no better than a sith. The jedi fight only to defend themselves and what the believe in, never to kill.
15. All ships in the galaxy have similar flight controls, even if they look different. I suppose it could be possible that Obi Wan could jump into a foreign ship and fly it, but I have my doubts.
16. Ships evolve in nanoseconds in the future. I thought it was neat to see (what seemed to be, to me) the beginnings of the Tie fighters at the start of the film, but at the end (while over looking the Death Star) didn’t the Tie fighters look like something straight out of the later episodes
17. The Jedi Temple has security cameras, but no other systems in place. No lockdown of the council area, etc. If you’re going to lock away the future Jedi children, shouldn’t you make sure they’re protected and not just hiding in a room?
18. Everybody in the Jedi order has to follow the dress code. No more exceptions for nifty black ensambles.
Surprise endings are good, but at least it wasn’t “Obi Wan is really the father”
Father figures are important. Luke has 3 (Owen, Obi Wan, Vader), while in Anikan’s eyes, Obi Wan goes from Father figure to “like a brother.”
Yoda’s grammer actually gets better over next 20 years
19. when Lucas re-released EP 4-6, I believe it is in EP 5 where he removed a scream Luke made as he had his hand chopped off and he fell because Jedis do not scream, they have no fear. Yet we hear Jedi masters screaming when they get their hands chopped off or falling out a window (a la Mace Windu). And why couldn’t Jedi Master Obi-Wan use the force to knock the little robots off his space ship? It can be used to pick up an X-wing fighter out of the swamp, but cannot push little robots off a space ship.
20. Theory: Could the eternal life secret knowledge shenanigans explain why when Vader Kills OBW, OWB dissapears instead of just getting chopped in half like every other saber victim? Could they be paving the way for episode 7 starring old Ewan Mcgregor and Liam Neeson?
21. Propolsion Systems: Do you mean to tell me that all these flying machines, both planetary personal craft and giant space monsters run on liquid fuel? I assume this liquid is combustable, like petroleum. Where did it come from in such endless quantities, and how is it stored? And most importantly, how do they deal with emmissions, which were prominently ejected from every craft?
22. The planet where all the real action comes home to roost is one big urban downtown, not a speck of plant or animal life in sight. Assuming everybody breathes oxygen, where does it come from? Not only are billions or perhaps trillions of English-speaking humans consuming O2, there’s all those vehicles burning combustable fuel. So, where does the O2 come from?
23. OK, annikin gets burned. Badly. We low tech neanderthals in this time and space are on the verge of some amazing techniques for building human tissue, or life-like substitutes. Did these technologically advanced people abandon reconstructive surgery? Does darth Vader really have to cover his face with a helmet so that we aren’t upset with his burns?
24. Those replacement limbs that everybody seems to sport. Granted, perhaps the mechanical ones are better than the real thing, although in that case everybody would be volutarily having their limbs lopped off. But couldn’t they look a little more attractive, maybe covered with human tissue or maybe even entire limbs grown from your own stem cells and completely indistinguishable from the lost limbs? To expect these technological advances is not unreasonable in our day and age. As for availability, I might remind you that this tale involves the elites of society, people and robots fighting for control. You can be sure that all the resources of society are at the fingetips of these folks.
25. So do Leia and Vader ever realize they’re related? Leia and Vader interact a lot, from her initial capture in Ep. IV, to their time together in the clowd city in Ep. V. Can Vader not sense the force in her? Does she simply not have much of “the force” in her? Or does he just not care about his daughter despite being so obsessed with his son? I haven’t seen Ep. VI in a long time, so I don’t recall if Luke and Leia discuss it. If so, Leia never seemed too bothered by the fact that her life long nemesis was her dad. If Leia is “the other hope” that Yoda and Obi Wan mention in Ep. V, they never really do much about it.
26. the most frustrating thing is that there really is a good movie – perhaps two – buried in the clutter. The major plot points (Anakin’s turn to the Dark Side, the collapse of the Republic into dictatorship) ring true in concept, but you don’t feel them on the screen. Nothing approaches the gut-wrenching chill of “I am your father” – imagine a movie where we see Anakin’s Choice as our own, the descent into hell as the price for saving the love of his life, and we leave the theater wondering what we would do in the circumstances. Or imagine a movie where the “freedom dies” line actually has its intended force, a movie that shows how patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
Leave a comment. Say something about the movie. Throw out some questions.
Make this fun. Ride safe guys.
1. When the leader says “Everything’s fine, go wait on the LAVA PLANET", be suspicious.
2. The Dark Side of the Force is called “The Dark Side” for a reason. It’s not like “The Dark Side of the Moon".
3. Robots with cutesy voices are annoying, not adorable. That goes double for aliens with cutesy voices. Triple for robots with cutesy voices and smoker’s cough.
4. For some reason, robots talk to each other in English, instead of using wifi or bluetooth or something.
5. Coruscant OB/GYN technology leaves something to be desired. [Update: “Luke” and “Leia” are clearly the Naboo words for “Morphine” and “Epidural"]
6. 20 years seems like nothing when you’re ruling the galaxy.
7. Darth Vader is not scarier with an artful allusion to Frankenstein.
8. The whole ‘you can keep her alive if you become a sith’ thing was so unconvincing. Yep, so I keep my girlfriend alive if I massacre hundreds of people. I think most philosophy departments would have something to say about that (would you eat a chicken if I threatened to kill another chicken question). The fact old ‘Ani’ was supposed to be a wise Jedi and couldn’t see the bloomin’ obvious was hilarious.
Their words of love scene was bizarre. It made no sense. Something about her looking beautiful and then the conversation turned weird. No wonder she felt he wasn’t sharing something with her
9. Why is the death star at the end half-finished if it takes another 17 years to complete it?
10. did you really saw the movie people, werent you paying attention? the alien doctor said, there was nothing wrong with her, that she was dying because she lost the will to live, and i dont think anyone will ever come up with a medicine for that. what kind of diagnostic tool do you use to test “will to live"? I want one!
11. the big long slow-motion “Nooooooo!” is more–not less–ridiculus when you’re wearing a Darth Vader helmet.
12. And you mean to tell me that the Dark Lord of the Sith searched the galaxy for his child, and “traitorous” Master, Obi Wan, for twenty years, and NEVER CHECKED AT HIS BROTHER’S HOUSE, BACK ON TATTOOINE?
“RASP WHEEZE RASP WHEEZE…Owen, this is Darth. Is Luke over there? RASP WHEEZE”
I mean Darth must have had some kinda force type connection with his kids yes!
13. OK, so the entire Jedi Council, full of Jedi Masters, is in their little meeting room. Well I take that back, there were a few that were on other planets and we saw their “images” being beamed in during the council meetings. So they’ve talked about looking for this Sith Lord for many many years and yet with all their knowledge of force, they couldn’t tell he was a few blocks over in another building? Freakin’ Obi-Wan felt an entire planet being blown apart light years away, yet the council of Jedi Masters couldn’t tell that the Dark Sith Lord was around the corner! Another thing, Obi-wan gets his ass kicked by Dooku when they were trying to save Palpatine and Anni kills Dooku (I’m assuming because Anni said his powers have grown 20 times stronger or whatever since their last meeting as I’m sure he’s been able to train quite a bit…lol). So then at the end of Episode III, Obi-wan kicks Anni’s ass and leaves him for dead…this after we assume Anni gets even stronger with the dark side of the force. Maybe it’s like starting over though, his main job is now with the dark side so after killing the separatists he gained like Level 2 in the dark side and Obi-wan is like at Level 55 in the good side…Then you have Padme not realizing (again I’m assuming they’ve done high tech ultrasounds during her pregnancy) that the two little blips on the screen are twins! Also I’m sure a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away they never listened to the baby’s heart beats during the pregnancy. I’m sure if they did, the droid doctor just said the two beats she’s hearing is just an echo or something stupid. And why would they wipe the protocol droid’s memory (C-3P0) and not the astromech droid’s memory (R2-D2)? Is that because not many people can understand the beeps and whistles? Luke was able to do so, don’t you think R2-D2 would want to fill Luke in on a “little secret” about Darth Vader? Then there’s the whole “execute directive 66″ bullcrap. Like nobody would have checked on what the heck the “creators” would have taught/programmed into the clones? If the Jedi Council didn’t trust Palpatine, they sure did trust his judgment with the clones
14. If you are going to go to the trouble of cutting someones legs off, take some basic pride in your work and finish the job.
Honestly… Obi-Wan knew he’d led the attack on the temple, watched him kill the younglings, and had nearly been killed by him. I’d take that a good cue it was time to help Anakin “curl up his tootsies and shuffle off this mortal coil, go and join the bleedin’ choir…” (Dead Parrot Routine)but jedi don’t kill their own kind ever, if obi wan had killed anakin he would have been no better than a sith. The jedi fight only to defend themselves and what the believe in, never to kill.
15. All ships in the galaxy have similar flight controls, even if they look different. I suppose it could be possible that Obi Wan could jump into a foreign ship and fly it, but I have my doubts.
16. Ships evolve in nanoseconds in the future. I thought it was neat to see (what seemed to be, to me) the beginnings of the Tie fighters at the start of the film, but at the end (while over looking the Death Star) didn’t the Tie fighters look like something straight out of the later episodes
17. The Jedi Temple has security cameras, but no other systems in place. No lockdown of the council area, etc. If you’re going to lock away the future Jedi children, shouldn’t you make sure they’re protected and not just hiding in a room?
18. Everybody in the Jedi order has to follow the dress code. No more exceptions for nifty black ensambles.
Surprise endings are good, but at least it wasn’t “Obi Wan is really the father”
Father figures are important. Luke has 3 (Owen, Obi Wan, Vader), while in Anikan’s eyes, Obi Wan goes from Father figure to “like a brother.”
Yoda’s grammer actually gets better over next 20 years
19. when Lucas re-released EP 4-6, I believe it is in EP 5 where he removed a scream Luke made as he had his hand chopped off and he fell because Jedis do not scream, they have no fear. Yet we hear Jedi masters screaming when they get their hands chopped off or falling out a window (a la Mace Windu). And why couldn’t Jedi Master Obi-Wan use the force to knock the little robots off his space ship? It can be used to pick up an X-wing fighter out of the swamp, but cannot push little robots off a space ship.
20. Theory: Could the eternal life secret knowledge shenanigans explain why when Vader Kills OBW, OWB dissapears instead of just getting chopped in half like every other saber victim? Could they be paving the way for episode 7 starring old Ewan Mcgregor and Liam Neeson?
21. Propolsion Systems: Do you mean to tell me that all these flying machines, both planetary personal craft and giant space monsters run on liquid fuel? I assume this liquid is combustable, like petroleum. Where did it come from in such endless quantities, and how is it stored? And most importantly, how do they deal with emmissions, which were prominently ejected from every craft?
22. The planet where all the real action comes home to roost is one big urban downtown, not a speck of plant or animal life in sight. Assuming everybody breathes oxygen, where does it come from? Not only are billions or perhaps trillions of English-speaking humans consuming O2, there’s all those vehicles burning combustable fuel. So, where does the O2 come from?
23. OK, annikin gets burned. Badly. We low tech neanderthals in this time and space are on the verge of some amazing techniques for building human tissue, or life-like substitutes. Did these technologically advanced people abandon reconstructive surgery? Does darth Vader really have to cover his face with a helmet so that we aren’t upset with his burns?
24. Those replacement limbs that everybody seems to sport. Granted, perhaps the mechanical ones are better than the real thing, although in that case everybody would be volutarily having their limbs lopped off. But couldn’t they look a little more attractive, maybe covered with human tissue or maybe even entire limbs grown from your own stem cells and completely indistinguishable from the lost limbs? To expect these technological advances is not unreasonable in our day and age. As for availability, I might remind you that this tale involves the elites of society, people and robots fighting for control. You can be sure that all the resources of society are at the fingetips of these folks.
25. So do Leia and Vader ever realize they’re related? Leia and Vader interact a lot, from her initial capture in Ep. IV, to their time together in the clowd city in Ep. V. Can Vader not sense the force in her? Does she simply not have much of “the force” in her? Or does he just not care about his daughter despite being so obsessed with his son? I haven’t seen Ep. VI in a long time, so I don’t recall if Luke and Leia discuss it. If so, Leia never seemed too bothered by the fact that her life long nemesis was her dad. If Leia is “the other hope” that Yoda and Obi Wan mention in Ep. V, they never really do much about it.
26. the most frustrating thing is that there really is a good movie – perhaps two – buried in the clutter. The major plot points (Anakin’s turn to the Dark Side, the collapse of the Republic into dictatorship) ring true in concept, but you don’t feel them on the screen. Nothing approaches the gut-wrenching chill of “I am your father” – imagine a movie where we see Anakin’s Choice as our own, the descent into hell as the price for saving the love of his life, and we leave the theater wondering what we would do in the circumstances. Or imagine a movie where the “freedom dies” line actually has its intended force, a movie that shows how patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
Leave a comment. Say something about the movie. Throw out some questions.
Make this fun. Ride safe guys.
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haha funny, didnt realise them till i read ur entry.. nice!
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# posted by 
: May 30, 2005 at 9:26:00 PM GMT+8
: May 30, 2005 at 9:26:00 PM GMT+8<< Home
