Thursday, December 16, 2004
TAG BY KELVIN DAVID
“Its all starts off with the running….I run and run…not knowing where my legs take me. Damn ankles don’t give in now….God knows how many times I’ve twisted it while running!!! I need you (damn ankles!!) to hold me up. Oh man!!! I get this feeling I’m going to get caught first!!...the pain…the agony!...its that uncomfortable…I’m going to vomit on myself feeling. The setting always has to be in some dark and dreary jungle type place….slippery dew covered leaves on the forest floor…not doing me any bloody favors. I think there were a few of us who got away first…wonder where they are now. Better not get in my way!!...I don’t need to be spotted, not that easily anyway. Fact is if there were a sniper anywhere in the vicinity I would probably be his prime target. Being all of 6ft something…throw some fur on me and you have yourself a skinny assed Indian big foot!!
Its always a surprise how a little bit of panic can add so much bounce to your running step. Damn!! At this rate I could freakin run a marathon. The surrounding seems familiar…I’ve been here before. God!! Please bless me with some moon light so I can see where the hell I’m going.
Ah!!...the all so familiar call up to the higher powers. Does not seem the practice when we really need God to make a tough decision about whether to bone your girlfriends best friend, Do we shout out “ Lord!! Grant me clarity of mind on whether I should step on this guys face or not!!!” or…”God I really need you to tell me if I should finish off this last glass of beer…hey I already had 15!!” the day that bloody happens I’ll cut my testicles off.
My skinny foot gets stuck between some protruding roots…damn! I fall…hard on my knees…I fiercely react to what the tree has done to me by giving it a swift donkey like kick…balls!! bad idea man! I sit with my back on the big tree trunk. My knees have been scrapped badly and they’re bleeding….bad! at least the shit didn’t totally hit the fan with my ankles giving way as well. Bastards!! I did not sign up for this shit man!
Voices!!...I hear voices…and when you can hear voices the bodies they come with are not too far away!! Screw this I’m not getting taken…not me! I decide to move with a little more stealth…ok ok…I’m tired and I need the breather! Trying to make sure I don’t make much noise, I avoid stepping on stuff that might go snap, crackle or pop! I get into a good rhythm….no! not snap crackle or pop!!...( you’re being an asswipe reader!!)…I feel myself blending into the surrounding( pls abstain from all racial jokes at this point!!)….I am the trees…I am the darkness…I am the forest! And I think I bloody need to take a piss!!
Why does this always have to happen to me!!? just when I was getting into the groove of it…reminds me of the time when I went on one of my very first dates and it required me to dance. The fact that my face was blistered with acme and that I had 2 skinny left feet did not help one bit. But I had heart man and I could see that my date appreciated it…slow dance was coming up and rubbing up against my date was going to be a reality…WHO DA MAN!!...but guess what…da man also needed to pee. So I ran off as fast as I could to the lil boy’s room, pants down….pee…jiggle…pants up…rinse…back to the dance floor.
And some smelly pakki was dancing with my date….bugger!! May the gods of dancing be unkind to you forever!! May your limbs be unbalanced…and…and…bollocks to you!
Pee I did. Hey as far as I’m concerned I’m doing the freakin forest a favor here…while I’m at it I should take a shit as well…ok I did not go as far as that…I personally think wiping ones ass with leaves is not cool. I was still being tracked down. I moved a bit more. Got in to a squat position and was deciding on where to go…left or right?....while contemplating the choices rather seriously…my mind wondered to the end….where I would claim freedom…and boast of my escape!!...Trium…WHAM!!!
A hand slapped on my shoulder….hells no!! I pounced up like someone had shoved a suppository up my ass…and ran like my hair was on fire! I ran without a thought…without any direction. I just wanted to get away. I prayed that whatever that was after me was not faster then me and then if it was it would be slowed down by a falling tree or something….run faster!!!
I had run a fair bit…and could not run any further.
I sat down by another tree…I was breathing heavily…..and I could hear every heart beat…as clearly as I could a bass drum of a marching band. Beads of sweat all over my face…my clothes were drenched and dirty. Knees aching. I missed home!...I missed my mom.
Damn…I could not believe a game of tag in pitch dark could be this scary.”
I would love to write a book someday…maybe I’m not good enough for the world right now…or even for you. But I would like to thank you for reading anyways. Its all in good fun aye. Thank you for riding with me.
“Its all starts off with the running….I run and run…not knowing where my legs take me. Damn ankles don’t give in now….God knows how many times I’ve twisted it while running!!! I need you (damn ankles!!) to hold me up. Oh man!!! I get this feeling I’m going to get caught first!!...the pain…the agony!...its that uncomfortable…I’m going to vomit on myself feeling. The setting always has to be in some dark and dreary jungle type place….slippery dew covered leaves on the forest floor…not doing me any bloody favors. I think there were a few of us who got away first…wonder where they are now. Better not get in my way!!...I don’t need to be spotted, not that easily anyway. Fact is if there were a sniper anywhere in the vicinity I would probably be his prime target. Being all of 6ft something…throw some fur on me and you have yourself a skinny assed Indian big foot!!
Its always a surprise how a little bit of panic can add so much bounce to your running step. Damn!! At this rate I could freakin run a marathon. The surrounding seems familiar…I’ve been here before. God!! Please bless me with some moon light so I can see where the hell I’m going.
Ah!!...the all so familiar call up to the higher powers. Does not seem the practice when we really need God to make a tough decision about whether to bone your girlfriends best friend, Do we shout out “ Lord!! Grant me clarity of mind on whether I should step on this guys face or not!!!” or…”God I really need you to tell me if I should finish off this last glass of beer…hey I already had 15!!” the day that bloody happens I’ll cut my testicles off.
My skinny foot gets stuck between some protruding roots…damn! I fall…hard on my knees…I fiercely react to what the tree has done to me by giving it a swift donkey like kick…balls!! bad idea man! I sit with my back on the big tree trunk. My knees have been scrapped badly and they’re bleeding….bad! at least the shit didn’t totally hit the fan with my ankles giving way as well. Bastards!! I did not sign up for this shit man!
Voices!!...I hear voices…and when you can hear voices the bodies they come with are not too far away!! Screw this I’m not getting taken…not me! I decide to move with a little more stealth…ok ok…I’m tired and I need the breather! Trying to make sure I don’t make much noise, I avoid stepping on stuff that might go snap, crackle or pop! I get into a good rhythm….no! not snap crackle or pop!!...( you’re being an asswipe reader!!)…I feel myself blending into the surrounding( pls abstain from all racial jokes at this point!!)….I am the trees…I am the darkness…I am the forest! And I think I bloody need to take a piss!!
Why does this always have to happen to me!!? just when I was getting into the groove of it…reminds me of the time when I went on one of my very first dates and it required me to dance. The fact that my face was blistered with acme and that I had 2 skinny left feet did not help one bit. But I had heart man and I could see that my date appreciated it…slow dance was coming up and rubbing up against my date was going to be a reality…WHO DA MAN!!...but guess what…da man also needed to pee. So I ran off as fast as I could to the lil boy’s room, pants down….pee…jiggle…pants up…rinse…back to the dance floor.
And some smelly pakki was dancing with my date….bugger!! May the gods of dancing be unkind to you forever!! May your limbs be unbalanced…and…and…bollocks to you!
Pee I did. Hey as far as I’m concerned I’m doing the freakin forest a favor here…while I’m at it I should take a shit as well…ok I did not go as far as that…I personally think wiping ones ass with leaves is not cool. I was still being tracked down. I moved a bit more. Got in to a squat position and was deciding on where to go…left or right?....while contemplating the choices rather seriously…my mind wondered to the end….where I would claim freedom…and boast of my escape!!...Trium…WHAM!!!
A hand slapped on my shoulder….hells no!! I pounced up like someone had shoved a suppository up my ass…and ran like my hair was on fire! I ran without a thought…without any direction. I just wanted to get away. I prayed that whatever that was after me was not faster then me and then if it was it would be slowed down by a falling tree or something….run faster!!!
I had run a fair bit…and could not run any further.
I sat down by another tree…I was breathing heavily…..and I could hear every heart beat…as clearly as I could a bass drum of a marching band. Beads of sweat all over my face…my clothes were drenched and dirty. Knees aching. I missed home!...I missed my mom.
Damn…I could not believe a game of tag in pitch dark could be this scary.”
I would love to write a book someday…maybe I’m not good enough for the world right now…or even for you. But I would like to thank you for reading anyways. Its all in good fun aye. Thank you for riding with me.
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another good story, sounds like me in the forest.
your aussie fren.
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your aussie fren.
# posted by 
: December 23, 2004 at 12:12:00 PM GMT+8
: December 23, 2004 at 12:12:00 PM GMT+8<< Home
